Today marks 18 months of marriage with my better half. With that being said, I am by no means an expert on giving marriage advice. My grandparents have been married for over 40 years, they’re the real professionals. But I can tell you what makes our marriage work and give you my best advice!
- My number one piece of advice will always be, center your marriage around Christ. I said the same thing in my “dating 101” post. We have to wake up and decide everyday, “what are we living for?” For me, I don’t see any other way to live than to live for Jesus. I have to see Jesus through everything in this world and He has to be the foundation for my marriage too. We try to center every decision we have to make in our marriage around Christ.
2. You have to know your role in the marriage. Husbands are suppose to be the leaders of the household by showing love and influencing Godly decisions for their family. Wives are called to submit to their husbands by helping them and letting them know that they have our support. I read this analogy before and it made so much sense to me:
God designed the family unit to work in a certain way, where everyone has a job to fulfill. We would not walk into a doctors office and expect to be greeted by the doctor, weighed and measured by the receptionist, and treated by the nurse. Right? There are certain orders for things because that is what works. God has a specific purpose and role for us in our marriage too, in order for it to work!
3. Remember to date your spouse. Harry and I still plan weekly date nights. Date nights can be anything from a fancy dinner to a walk around town to get a sweet treat while just talking and laughing about life. It is biblical for a husband to pursue his wife. I think it is so important to remember this even after years of marriage!
4. I think it is also important to know how your spouse feels loved. If you have not read the book, The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, I highly recommend it. It talks about the 5 love languages: Quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch, and receiving gifts. Everyone feels loved in different ways and it is important that we feel loved by our spouse. My personal love languages are quality time and words of affirmation. That is how I feel the most loved!
See the book here: The 5 Love Languages
5. My last piece of advice is to focus on your marriage. Make it a priority in your life! There are going to be arguments but this is what we have to do: get over it. We look at it this way, we are still going to be married at the end of the day, heck no we are never getting a divorce, so why stay mad? why hold a grudge? You should never fight a battle against your spouse. You are a team, you fight the battle and conquer this crazy world together!
This is the other thing.. if you are not married and a relationship is not working out while you’re dating, it will not work out when you’re married. Marriage only magnifies the dating relationship. Never forget that!
Love is a commitment, not just a warm fuzzy feeling. While it is important to keep those sparks and youthfulness in your marriage, never forget what love really means:
I shared that same Bible verse in my “dating 101” post. This verse should be read often!
No marriage is perfect! Don’t think for a second that ours is. We just know that we are committed to each other forever and we center our marriage around God’s word. That is what makes it work.
There is a saying “The grass is not always greener on the other side.” I think the grass is greener where you water it and we are always trying to water our marriage!
Blog post: Dating 101